… a thought making crooked all that is straight.

The day I met a Thelemite

I was visiting a friend in a coastal town. Finally I had time to relax and just take in the sea air. My friend is a non-pagan with an open mind to all of my ways. Her partner calls me a Wiccan and I don’t object; it is a conceptual handle on what I am, as anything beyond that starts to sound a little too Middle Earth for him.

It was a bright but cold day when we headed to the sea. We found a café along the pebbly beach and settled in to be chilled by the wind and warmed by coffee. I offered to buy the second round and headed to the small wooden hut that served as kitchen and counter. A man stood there already waiting for his double latte with chocolate sprinkles. He eyed me suspiciously, a look that became rather sharper when he noticed my unicursal star broach. He nodded at the broach and said, “Love is the law… ” Suddenly I felt like a German spy from the Quiller Memorandum, “No, zes are not ze braend of zigarettes dat I normally smoke …” I replied “Love under will” and then stood awkwardly looking at him, feeling like we should now do some kind of black ghetto secret handshake ending with us bumping shoulders.

He grinned and I wondered if I should have just feigned ignorance and said my broach was a pretty star and that it went with a super-duper outfit I had at home.

He asked me if I was from the area, I said no and studiously avoided saying exactly where I was from. No need to worry about intrusive questions, he was more interested in telling me about himself, ending with, “Don’t you think I look like Crowley?” You and all the other overweight bald Thelemites, I thought. “Oh, yes,” I said. “Definitely a resemblance.” I made regretful noises about how I must return to my friend who was starting to look in need of coffee-defrosting. I saw him gearing up to ask to swap contact details. On his in-breath I jumped in firmly and said, “SO nice to meet you. LOVELY talking to you. MUST go.” And I trotted back to my friend, coffees in hand. I prised her chilled fingers off the old cup and slotted in a new cup which started to send heat up through her arm, enough for her to bend her elbow and swig a few gulps.

“Who was that?” she asked.

“Oh, just another Aleister wannabe.”

“Aleister who?”

“Exactly.”

She looked at me confused. I gave a big ‘never-mind’ smile and toasted her with the coffee.

“93!”

“Is that how much I owe you? I thought it was your round …”

I leant across and gave her a big kiss on the cheek.

“I must teach you the Secret Handshake of Middle Earth at some point …”

©StarofSeshat 2009 This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to persons living, dead or other is purely coincidental.

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4 responses

  1. The Green Witch

    Bloody brilliant. I can see the resemblance to no persons living or dead (or Crowley!) in as many wannabes as I’ve seen. Which is a few. Keep lending us your observations – we need them like oxygen! xXx

    February 6, 2009 at 5:57 pm

  2. Purely for entertainment purposes!! Gave me a break and a giggle inbetween contaminated site remediations and activated carbon filters … sigh. Nearing the end of this long, loong, looooong project. Next week I’m on holiday – HURRAH!!

    February 6, 2009 at 6:05 pm

  3. M

    MM Seshat,
    While most of what you write resonates with me, it is when you use your wit (even in this sparkling bit of fiction) to take down the Crowley worshippers a notch or two when I feel most gleeful.
    You see, I had a long-time ‘friendship’ (dare I call it that, as it was all one sided) with a man whose hero was Aleister and never was there a more lazy, manipulative and cunning man as this user. The bitterness lingers, but I digress. I snorted aloud at my desk when I came to your part
    “You and all the other overweight bald Thelemites, I thought”
    Ca c’est la verite!

    M

    February 6, 2009 at 8:31 pm

  4. MM M (!!)
    glad it tickled yer fancy 🙂

    I don’t mean it as a general criticism of Thelemites – I have met some genuine, very educated and hard-working Thelemites. The Thelemite Conference in Oxford last year was inspiring! Thelema and the works of Aleister Crowley are instructional, fascinating and an area I would like to focus on more.

    This post is more along the same lines as the Pagan Dude Pagan Dud piece. Just how some people try too hard and seem to miss the point.

    There are multiple Aleister look-a-likes, and thousands of LeVey goatie wearers. I think it an oddly childish game of dress-up by such men. If I dress like a fairy, it does not make me a fairy, nor a reincarnated fairy nor the sole inheritor of the wisdom of fairies 😉

    February 7, 2009 at 8:29 am

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