… a thought making crooked all that is straight.

The wilding places

I have found a wilding place. There is no credit to my sleuthing skills in the fact that it is at the bottom of my own garden.

I moved to this place nearly two years ago. The garden is more than twice the size of the ground plan of the house, but it is split with two thirds being the “public” garden and one third being hidden behind trees and bushes. That latter third is where the shed lives and where a drive would have been. It’s an area that has been left fallow so the curly willow looks like my hair in the morning and brambles have begun to take over.

Recently I found that, even in winter, there is a spot in the wilding place where I can stand and not be seen by any of the neighbouring houses.

So I have reignited my outdoor QiGong practice … even now as we experience the so-called “Siberian blast”. Sure I start off cold but by the end I have charged up enough heat/energy to keep me warm for the rest of the day, irrespective of the temperature.

What surprised me after my first foray into QiGong in the wilding place was that the place revealed itself to me as I was leaving. By this I mean that my vision shifted and I saw everything there as extant beings, certainly not human or anthropomorphised – there are no fairies at the bottom of my garden – but the wild things looked back at me as I “saw” them.

In reconnecting with this wild place, I must remember other wildernesses that I saw with my “other eyes”. First and foremost I recall the strong impulse I had to climb the extinct volcano that is Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh … in a storm … at night. And my “Drang” was so intense that I didn’t take the circuitous path route up to the top but decided to climb straight up the rocks – as the crow flies … if the crow could climb! When I reached the top I sat down on the rocks and the stone felt hot beneath my hands. I “saw” spirits flying around in the storm like the painting by Luis Ricardo Falero. Only then did I question why the stone was hot. I lifted my hand in shock as I realised this was illogical and irrational … when I put my hand back down, the rock was cool and the storm was no longer spirit-filled but windy and cold. My rational mind had broken the connection to what my body and soul were experiencing as reality.

Sustaining that vision is difficult once the reasoning mind has kicked in and I have broken a few intense spirit connections through reason … except is it reason? Or is it not in fact fear? Fear that makes me question the unusual and otherly even as I experience it phenomenally. The rational mind is a fear-monger. It may or may not be my lizardy amygdala that triggers fight or flight in an attempt to keep me safe … yet, why then am I so calm (focused, yes; exhilarated, yes; bursting with vibrancy, yes) climbing volcanoes in storms and talking to manifesting spirits … until my rational mind tells me this is strange and therefore frightening? I am merely playing with ideas here but I might be tempted to say that in fact my lizard brain is quite happy with the other … the atavistic, the anachronic … because it is itself ancient and “outside of this time”. No, I would guess that in fact it is my modern day brain that challenges the wildness and seeks to analyse and categorise things to death; it is the scientist who in seeking to find the reason for the beauty of a deer kills it and guts it … for knowledge. Oh false knowledge!

I’m not expounding a return to all things prehistoric, but in terms of vision – true sight, an all-encompassing seeing – I do believe we have to learn to bypass the rational, dissecting mind. If not bypass, then harness and train so that we can see all of phenomenal existence and not just the catalogued shells that our analytical minds permit us to see.

There is more to be seen than our minds will allow.

©StarofSeshat 2018

10 responses

  1. There is indeed more betwixt… well, you know the quote – I well remember the time I was out in the fields in a thunderstorm (a usual thing for me, though you can also find me in high places in storms too), I was riding the storm, weaving my magic and so far away ‘with the fairies’ the storm was responding, moving towards me, but when I realised it was getting closer with each thunderclap … I came back down to earth! The spell broken, the storm quickly moved away leaving me wondering if I had dreamed it… (which of course, in a way, I had!) surely I did not have the ‘power’ to bring the storm to me? Perhaps, perhaps not. I’m still not sure – the rational part of my mind, conditioned by significant others, teachers, and peers, says a firm no! But the witch in me, tells me otherwise; this is what we need to cultivate – that other sense of being.

    You, we… were clearly ‘as one’ with the place, with the storm – it’s delicious and all too fleeting when it happens!

    February 26, 2018 at 10:35 am

  2. I’m sure the storm was responding to your call… I have frequently had the weather respond to my workings outdoors. I don’t know if it is so much about our own “power” but rather about attunement and whether our senses are open to experience the phenomenal existence of that Otherness where rain is not just wetness and wind is not just moving air.
    Thank you as always for your insightful comments, Cymraes! ❤

    February 26, 2018 at 11:12 am

  3. “I don’t know if it is so much about our own “power” […]” No, nor I, but it was this thought that bough me back down; the rational insisting it was, when in fact it was as you say “about attunement” – a fleeting moment of clarity spoilt by the conditioning of the mind.

    Perhaps, if we lived within that state, it would drive us to madness? To be either as Merlin wandering lost in the Wilderness, or as Percival, in the Barren Wasteland?

    February 26, 2018 at 11:18 am

  4. Or perhaps conversely, it would bring on a sanity that could not stand to be in this mad world… I’m thinking here of your Wetiko post (which was great). Have you read The Mind Parasites by Colin Wilson? It’s fictional, and yet speaks a lot of truth and you will never look at the dark corners of your mind in the same way again 😉 LOL

    February 26, 2018 at 11:22 am

  5. Perhaps yes, I can see how it would bring a freedom of thought, but to be in that state of ‘one-ness’ permanently…. not so sure… 😉 Awareness that it can be easily achieved though can be easily sustained, thus avoiding the pitfalls, as with Wetkio (thank you <3) – once in the Wilderness, as we both know, everyday life is never the same again is it… no matter how it tries to seduce us back into the merrigoround, part of us stays with the Other, and our 'sight' is clearer; our thoughts unfettered and our actions more congruent.

    I think it is the modern world that infects us with the perception of what is madness too – perhaps the other state is and fully attainable permanently? I'm really not sure. lol 😉

    February 26, 2018 at 11:28 am

  6. I think the “seeing” and awareness that I’m talking about is more of a gnosis – a gnowing of reality, and in gnowing, one sees with unveiled eyes. Why not permanently? … in theory I don’t see why not – whether one could continue living in a materialistic world I don’t know. Certainly one would be utterly transformed and could not live “as normal” – as you say, “everyday life is never the same again”.

    February 26, 2018 at 11:37 am

  7. Always good to read you.

    March 2, 2018 at 12:02 pm

  8. Dearest, always good to “see” you too. I wonder if you ever got the postcard that I sent to you last year or if it disappeared in the ether… Love to you!

    March 3, 2018 at 5:31 pm

  9. Robert Angelo Dalla Valle

    What a truly great comment and piece of art too! I hope to see and hear much more from you in the near future,

    Robert Angelo Dalla Valle

    March 4, 2018 at 7:54 pm

  10. Thank you, Robert! I’ve missed you! I hope all is well with you and yours. x

    March 5, 2018 at 6:11 am