… a thought making crooked all that is straight.

Kundalini

Chakras: Visuddha

Chakras are centres of energy which govern certain zones of the body; they convey energy between dimensions (or planes of existence) and are centres of subtle forces, the generation of prana (energy) and higher consciousness.

The Visuddha is located opposite the throat in the neck. The lotus is grey or silver (sometimes a smoky-purple) and has 16 petals. These petals contain seven musical notes, poison and nectar and seven “calls” for the purposes of exorcism, sacrifice, fire ceremonies, self-determination, blessings and exaltations. This suggests the beginning of priestly or occult power.

The chakra is associated with the conquest of the ethereal state of matter and is commonly equated with the expression of creative activity and inspiration, as well as the capacity to receive nurturing, specifically the contact with the inner unlimited source of “grace”.

Energising this chakra may involve devotional practices such as ritual, prayer, chanting,  sound vibration and creative expression.

The god of this chakra is Siva in half-male, half-female form (Adrhanariswara) sitting on a white elephant accompanied by the yellow-coloured goddess Sakini Sakti with four hands. He is master of diverse knowledge; she reigns in the lunar region.

Meditating on this chakra reportedly brings one to the threshold of great liberation.

Visuddha Chakra

Visuddha Chakra

See also

Chakras: Muladhara

Chakras: Svadhisthana

Chakras: Manipura

Chakras: Anahata

Sat Nam

Seshat

Information source: Energies of Transformation, A Guide to the Kundalini Process, by Bonnie Greenwell PhD.

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New Age Gematria

Yesterday evening Kundalini yoga was on the study plan. I worked through the introduction to Jung’s Psychology of Kundalini Yoga (based on the seminar he gave in 1932) and took notes. By the time I had finished I was pooped so snuggled in bed with a Kundalini-lite book.

I bought it because I want to learn new positions, new hand mudras (which I love!), mantras, breathwork … well, anything new really. Some of you may remember me talking about it last year, and about some of the really appallingly sugary sound-bites that are sprinkled through the book, and the fact that apparently I should be wearing a turban whenever I do my yoga. Argh!

Last night, maybe because I was tired, I just became aware of all the numbers being thrown at me: pseudo-scientific statistics to give credence to some very dodgy dogma. I wondered if such numerical profligacy was an example of New Age gematria…

  • Women are 16 times stronger than men (oh, just don’t even ask!)
  • We are 15 % slaves to routine
  • 1 negative habit will automatically attract 4 sister habits
  • There are 2 guiding instincts in man – to improve his future or to block improvement of his future
  • There are 4 stages to sleep and a healthy adult only needs 5.5 hours sleep (my arse!)
  • There are 6 steps to prepare for bed (one of which includes running cold water over your feet … like I said, just don’t ask!)
  • And there are 2 things you must do every day – sweat and laugh

I was also slightly baffled at the author’s obsession with people going insane. [More numbers…] In the 1960s, out of twenty million young people [random!!], millions died, were permanently damaged or went insane from using marijuana. Later she says, “demoting” i.e. negative habits will make you a “physical wreck, mentally insane and/or spiritually defunct”. Some of my best friends are mad 🙂 but I do quite like the phrase “spiritually defunct”!

The page that finished me off for the night included advice for women (originally from a man, naturally!):

  • Make-up is evidence you are handicapped
  • Stimulants kill you
  • Do not jump out of bed like a hot potato (perhaps he has been smoking too much of that marijuana, I have never seen potatoes jumping out of bed, hot or otherwise)
  • Wash your hair with oil and yoghurt (nice)
  • And because god does not allow hair to grow on our foreheads, women should not have fringes

When I read such twaddle it makes me feel extremely contrary … in fact, right now I think I will apply full Goth-style make-up, make a strong cup of coffee … I may have trouble growing hair on my forehead … but I shall lounge in bed while jumping out at regular intervals like a hot spud to apply more make-up … It’s a picture, isn’t it? My left-hand path to enlightenment … or is that right-hand? Where’s a potato to ask when you need one…

©StarofSeshat 2009


Chakras: Anahata

Chakras are centres of energy which govern certain zones of the body; they convey energy between dimensions (or planes of existence) and are centres of subtle forces, the generation of prana (energy) and higher consciousness.

The Anahata is located between the two nipples, but sometimes slightly to the right of the sternum rather than directly over the heart.

It is associated with the conquest of the element of air and the sound of cosmic consciousness.

Many spiritual traditions identify Anahata as the primary chakra to be awakened in order to experience spiritual enlightenment: this is the place where upper and lower levels of consciousness energy merge, symbolised by two intersecting triangles. It also links the left and right sides of the body, Yin and Yang characteristics. These two interlinking forms create a cross which symbolically represents integration of these polarities.

Isha is the god of this chakra, seated on a black antelope or gazelle, a symbol of swiftness and air. Isha is endowed with complete yogic power, is omniscient  and omnipresent. He is white symbolising purity. He has three eyes, the third representing samadhi knowledge (right concentration). Meditation on his form banishes fear and strengthens concentration.

The lightning-coloured goddess Kakini Sakti, also with three eyes, is depicted in yellow holding a noose and a skull.  Concentration on her stabilises prana and removes all obstacles to Isha. When Kakini is red, it indicates that her power is being used to control pranic energy; when she is white, she is Isha-consciousness.

Anahata is the 12 petalled vermilion coloured lotus, representing: expectation, anxiety, endeavour, attachment, hypocrisy, infirmity, egoism, discretion, covetousness, fraudulence, indecision and regret. Meditation on this chakra releases attachment to all things the “heart” desires; by withdrawing the senses from worldly things. One is thus able to connect with the experience of bliss. Desires, attachments, expectations and emotions of the heart shut off the natural flow of bliss once it has awakened, and the emotional ups and downs which often accompany the experience of kundalini awakening may be related to the issues of this chakra.

This chakra has been associated with arthritis and respiratory problems as well as cardiovascular and hypertensive illnesses.

Balance in this chakra is manifested through the qualities of compassion, acceptance and unconditional love; imbalance is indicated by insensitivity, passivity and sorrow.

Anahata Chakra

Anahata Chakra

See also

Chakras: Muladhara

Chakras: Svadhisthana

Chakras: Manipura

Sat Nam

Seshat

Information source: Energies of Transformation, A Guide to the Kundalini Process, by Bonnie Greenwell PhD.


Chakras: Manipura

Chakras are centres of energy which govern certain zones of the body; they convey energy between dimensions (or planes of existence) and are centres of subtle forces, the generation of prana (energy) and higher consciousness.

The Manipura is located above the Svadhisthana opposite the navel.

This chakra is associated with Rudra, a god who represents the destructive principle of the universe (the world of mind). He grants favours and generates fear. The goddess associated with Manipura is Lakini Sakti. She is clothed in yellow and is described as loving the flesh of animals, having a breast covered with blood and fat dripping from her mouth.

The animal symbol is the ram, a sacrificial animal, implying the need to sacrifice passions and other strong emotions. It controls the element of heat and governs the digestive system. It rules the abdominal organs, especially the functioning of stomach, liver and large intestine. It is related to the nervous system above the lumbar region. Meditating on this chakra, in particular on the colour red within it, can help cure abdominal disease.

This chakra is the ten petalled lotus representing: shame, treachery, jealousy, desire, drowsiness, despondency, worldliness, delusion, aversion and fear. Concentration on this chakra engenders a sense of stability and centredness in the being, where the above qualities are acknowledged, mastered and transcended.

Manipura chakra - Lakini

Manipura chakra - Lakini

See also

Chakras: Muladhara

Chakras: Svadhisthana

Sat Nam

Seshat

Information source: Energies of Transformation, A Guide to the Kundalini Process, by Bonnie Greenwell PhD.


Chakras: Svadhisthana

Chakras are centres of energy which govern certain zones of the body; they convey energy between dimensions (or planes of existence) and are centres of subtle forces, the generation of prana (energy) and higher consciousness.

The Svadhistana is located above the Muladhara, at the base of the genital organ or in the centre of the lumbar region.

This chakra is associated with water, symbolised by a half moon and the god Vishnu, sustaining principle of the universe. It is usually red, sometimes white.

It is governed by the goddess Rakini Shakti (or Sakti); she is dark blue, with three red eyes, a bleeding nostril and four arms. She holds a trident, lotus, drum and chisel.

The animal symbol of Svadhistana is a green sea-monster, similar to a crocodile, representing dominion over the sea and hence the unconscious.

It has six petals representing the mental conditions of: neglect, insensitivity, credulity, suspicion, destructiveness and cruelty, as well as frustration, attachment and anxiety. Physically it governs the large intestines, rectum, kidney, bladder, sexual organ and testes. Imbalance in this chakra can be the cause of sexual problems, diabetes, kidney and bladder problems.

Meditation on this chakra will bring mastery of the elements, and relieve a person of egotistic feelings, petty impulses and desires. It helps to develop the qualities of equanimity and placidity of mind, as well as self-confidence and well-being.

Svadhisthana chakra - Rakini

Svadhisthana chakra - Rakini

See also Chakras: Muladhara

Sat Nam

Seshat

Information source: Energies of Transformation, A Guide to the Kundalini Process, by Bonnie Greenwell PhD.


Chakras: Muladhara

Chakras are centres of energy which govern certain zones of the body; they convey energy between dimensions (or planes of existence) and are centres of subtle forces, the generation of prana (energy) and higher consciousness.

The Muladhara is located at the bottom of the backbone between the anus and the testicles or cervix. It is identified with the four-petalled lotus, representing: supreme happiness, innate bliss, the bliss of union and the bliss of bravery, strength or power. It is said to reflect the crown chakra which is why it also conveys an element of bliss.

The Muladhara is associated with Brahman, the creative principle of the universe. It holds the body in its physical form and hence in creation. It is the foundation and support of the chakra system. When functioning correctly, it is associated with security and self-preservation, the element of earth, the colours of orange-red and the sense of smell.

It is symbolised by an elephant with a black stripe around its neck, representing the earthly qualities of strength, firmness, balance and support. Its mandala symbol is a yellow square contained within a circle, and within the square is a blood red triangle expressing sexual excitement.

The Muladhara influences  the rectum, kidneys, accumulation of sperm and the sexual organs, as well as bones, skin, flesh, nerves and hair.

Anger, lust and greed are controlled by meditating on the Muladhara. Grief and depression are signs of this chakra’s imbalance. Meditation on Muladhara also controls attachment to luxury, deception, pride, envy, selfishness. Release of energy in this chakra is often explosive and can lead to feelings of irritability, psychological instability, erratic sleeping patterns, or extreme passion, being overly talkative and easily enraged.

The goddess of this chakra is Dakini Shakti (or Sakti) – the energy of creation. And the kundalini energy is said to lie coiled three times around Muladhara.

dakiniDakini Shakti

See also: Chakras: Svadhisthana

Sat Nam

Seshat

Information source: Energies of Transformation, A Guide to the Kundalini Process, by Bonnie Greenwell PhD.


Thelemic Symposium Oxford 2008

Yesterday I attended the Thelemic Symposium in Oxford. My motivation was intensely personal. As such I took no notes, so my impressions of the speakers are entirely subjective, probably skewed and flavoured with my own biases and opinions (what’s new?).


Once we had got over our initial hilarity at the location, which was essentially a scout-hut with bar at the back of a housing estate, we soon realised what an absolutely perfect site it was: private, comfortable with bar and food, and no prying eyes of locals. Inside, the stage area was decorated with curtains and a beautiful arched painting of Nuit. She took my breath away and I looked at her often throughout the day.
Unfortunately the DuQuettes were absent, so the number of talks dropped to 6. First off were Peter Grey and his partner on Babalon. Each read their own incredibly evocative and thrilling interpretations of Babalon, the Whore, the Scarlet Woman. (I notice a discrepancy here in my understanding of their work, and TGW’s notes – this I think reflects my bias in favour of Babalon.) Their Babalon was a strong, indefatigable woman, independent and raw; she was the Babalon of two people in love; and the Babalon who challenged all preconceptions including those of Thelema. They called on Thelemites to reject dogma and to commit blasphemy to infuse new life into a partially degenerate philosophy that needed to change to respond and be relevant to the times. The raw sexual language was beautiful, challenging and ultimately deeply arousing. I later overcame my innate shyness to ask them for copies of their work because I very much want to read through both texts at my leisure.

A couple of talks later, this particular image of Babalon was shaken to its roots by Melissa Harrington who spoke about Thelema and The Feminine. (I would just like to say I admired her spirit and thoroughly enjoyed her talk. It’s only because she posed such interesting ideas, that I feel able to engage in discussion and disagree with some of her points of reference.) Her first words, though not unkind, were to Peter Grey and partner, saying, “Come back when you’ve had children and tell me again about Babalon.” I prickled at what I felt was a rather dismissive statement. Her talk went on to question the role of women in Thelema; that because the structure has been so male dominated since its inception, that there are not enough provisions made for women, either in a spiritual sense or practically in the form of crèches at rituals. She looked at the audience and marked everyone as a first generation believer, and wondered how on earth anyone could be expected to bring up a child in Thelema with the lack of structure and openness to families and children. This was a fair point, but one that could have been made in isolation. Instead she cited Crowley’s behaviour with a string of women, the drugs, the abandonment and death through negligence of some of the children. She found this an unacceptable basis for a religion; that women were essentially given sexual freedom but not the power to deal with it. This is true, and perhaps because I don’t see Crowley as a prophet, but more as an inspired madman, I have no issue in taking the good and leaving the bad: when you start talking about “religion” then people start wanting absolutes; they want their prophets to be flawless and their gods to be manifest in dogma. Untidiness irritates such people. And such people irritate me. Whether it is directly Crowley’s responsibility or actually a failure of responsibility by the women themselves, I find harder to say, and the discussion smacks to me slightly of arguing how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Are the personality flaws of Crowley then, still relevant now? Can’t we take the best of his work and just move forward with it? If we are looking to him as a cult leader, then his personality flaws certainly create stumbling blocks; but if he is an inspiration, in the true sense of the word as a source that inspires us to other things, then I don’t see that it matters.

Another thing that riled me slightly, was that all of these points could have stood strongly on their own without bringing in the image of Babalon. She said that Babalon was a whore, and a male wet-dream, that ultimately Crowley did not question the motivation of whores and the desperation that drove them to whoredom. A fair point to a degree. But she ultimately robbed Babalon of any power, citing her childlessness as indicative of the barren nature of her symbolism, and that consequently this barrenness was being expressed in current day Thelema by the lack of provision for women and children, and the concomitant outcome that no one at the conference had been brought up as a Thelemite. Two points need addressing here: one – I HATE the way women who have had children then interpret everything in their lives thereafter from the perspective of motherhood as the pinnacle of female achievement. I understand that to them it is the most momentous thing of their lives. But to invoke childlessness as an expression of barrenness, negativity, lack of self, lack of will, slavery to male sexuality is in my opinion entirely missing the point of Babalon. She is an independent woman figure desired by man. She holds tremendous power. I have seen so many women lose any sense of self and individuality to their children; so many merge and become solely the power engine for their brood. Rightly so. If you are going to bring a being into the world, it is your responsibility to give that being everything you can. I am not criticising this. What I criticise is the assumption that childless women are less because they do NOT sacrifice themselves for their children. (This was implicit rather than explicit in her talk; it was unaddressed and hence bugged me big time.) For me, Babalon is a powerful Goddess that represents the ultimate in freedom. Does feminist freedom always have to be entirely and utter split from men? Can’t we be free and still in relationship with men? And if it is right to sacrifice yourself to your children whom you love, why is it suddenly wrong to sacrifice yourself to a man you love? The second point is that my understanding of Thelema is that it is a spiritual path which requires a spiritual awakening: it needs you to make the realisation of will to undertake the path; it is not a philosophy that can be taught at Sunday school. It is the philosophy of adults searching for a way to the divine. By trying to force a familial pattern of parental guidance on Thelema, she is trying (in my opinion) to make a tomato out of a chestnut.
Her second partial criticism was how women often came to Thelema through a male partner, but that often the women remained in Thelema once that original partnership dissolved. She used this as indicative of the non-woman friendly feeling in Thelema. Again, I disagree and believe that the reason for this is perhaps slightly more complicated. Thelema, the Gnostic mass and other tenets, are very sexual; to an outsider they could appear (indeed in some ways ARE) sexually aggressive. In today’s world I think there are very few women who would feel comfortable entering such a scene on their own, however great their interest. So perhaps the fact that women often approach Thelema through a male partner is less about emphasizing the male dominance and male leadership in Thelemic male/female relationships, than it is about reflecting the sad status of our society, that women are often frightened of overt, public expression of sexuality and feel safer approaching it all through a male partner whom they trust will keep them safe (at least until they have gained trust and confidence in the community).
The second talk was The 5 Senses in AMOOKOS and Tantrik Traditions, by Mike Magee. This was a fairly basic introduction to the idea of Tantra; the balance of Shakti and Shiva, the balance of male and female internally. The only new bit of information for me was gleaned from a training level in the AMOOKOS tradition, where initiates were called on to practice sense focus for a period of 26 weeks: one week they would focus on sight and keep a journal about (for example) the different shades of grey they saw through the week; the second week focused on taste; the third on hearing; the fourth on touch; the fifth on smell and the sixth represented ether and was a week of meditating on the present, of grounding and feeling utterly in the moment. This sequence was repeated over the 26 weeks, by the end of which you would have an extensive diary of your sensory experiences, which often led to certain changes in the initiate and the integration of disparate memories and sensory experiences. An integrity of being seemed to be the ultimate focus, but the final outcome depended entirely on the initiate’s own experiences and it was up to them to apply interpretations and learn from their experiences. This is a practice I am considering working through, as it could be very useful for my Kundalini practice.
Following Melissa Harrington, there was a talk by Charlotte Rodgers on Taboo & Blood Rites. There was in my mind very little information on generic blood rites, and it was more of a personal journey using blood; this was fascinating and I warmed to this woman greatly. She discussed the difference between venous blood and menstrual blood. She cited personal experience, which I don’t think it is appropriate to go into here. She touched on the subject of Mayan yoga, as in Maya/illusion. Performing this type of yoga in front of mirrors covered in blood symbols draws out aspects of self. This encourages a splitting of self to enable working on manifest aspects of self.

After this there was a talk on Goetic Magick by Jake Stratton-Kent. His experience seemed focused primarily on the Grimoirum Verum. The content of his talk passed me by, the prime interest for me came in the question time where he talked more openly about spirits with whom he had what he termed a “marriage type relationship”. These relationships were concrete things that he worked on as any other kind of relationship. I enjoyed the matter-of-fact way that he spoke about spirits. His relationship with them seemed more concrete than my own, but the way he spoke of them as such an integral part of his life – “I get along with some spirits better than I do with some people” – this rung true for me, and I felt he was speaking my language.
The final talk was given by a young German man, David Beth, Into the Meon – Inside Voudon Gnosis. His English was excellent, but unfortunately he assumed that everyone in the audience was privy to certain knowledge, that TGW and I mostly certainly were not. Consequently we were unable to follow the thread and missed out on learning much of anything. I’m sure that wasn’t the case for the more learned people in the audience. What did strike me was that in his tradition blood shares a cosmic essence with the “upper world”. The junction where these two essences meet in the adept is the hieros gamos. He also spoke of a concept called Las Prise des Yeaux, which is a form of esoteric vision of objects where you view the spiritual essence in all things animate and inanimate (another practical exercise in the offing).

This is a censored and curtailed version of the event, and hence the text at times appears a little choppy, for which I apologise. I took some hefty secateurs to it to make it publicly palatable 🙂 Some things are not appropriate for public consumption, some things are too personal to me to convey. Let it just be said, that this was a hugely important day for me and I will definitely be going next year.
© starofseshat 2008


Introduction to Kundalini Yoga

Yoga is essentially an Indian tradition that can be traced back to the third millennium BCE. Tantrism is a religious and philosophical movement that came about from the fourth century BCE. Tantrism differed from other Hindu and Buddhist teachings in that it represented an anti-ascetic countercurrent to the mainstream. It rejected the caste system and reassessed established values. Tantrism is a celebration of the body which is viewed as the microcosm of the universe. According to Eliade (Yoga, Immortality and Freedom) “for the first time in the spiritual history of Aryan India, the Great Goddess acquires a predominant position … We also recognize a sort of religious rediscovery of the mystery of woman.” Tantrism insists on the holiness and purity of all things, so the “five forbidden things” of Indian philosophy were integral to tantric rites: wine, meat, fish, parched grain and sexual intercourse. In so-called “right-handed” schools these are used symbolically in rituals; in the “left-handed” schools they are used literally. Naturally the West with its prurient attitude to sex has leapt astride this idea and imagines sexual acrobatics and pornographic orgies. In spite of Tantra gaining interest in the 1960s on the wave of sexual liberation, it is not used for the liberation of sexuality per se, but for liberation from the cycle of rebirth.
Tantric yoga, also know as Kundalini yoga, presented something new to the West: a technique for the development of higher consciousness. According to tantric philosophy, the body is made up of a series of chakras linked by channels. This is meant less as a literal description of the physical body, than as an idealisation of the subtle body to guide the yogin’s contemplation. In conformity with the tantric idea that the body is the microcosm of the universe, physical aspects such as the sun, moon, mountains were connected with the chakras, which then were to represent these subtle elements. Deities reside within the body and the spiritual student must connect with this deity within. The Kundalini power itself is represented in the form of a serpent coiled around the spine. Kundalini is the primordial energy or Shakti. The aim is to awaken Kundalini through ritual practices and enable her ascent through the chakra system. Blissful union follows the ascent and far-reaching transformation of the personality.

Bibliography:
The Psychology of Kundalini Yoga, Notes of the Seminar Given in 1932 by C.G. Jung, Edited by Sonu Shamdasani.
© starofseshat 2008


The demonic in me

In Arthur Versluis’ The Philosophy of Magic he writes:

 

“There is one aspect of invocation that must be reiterated: the difference between expulsion of the demonic and invocation of the daimonic… the invocation of devic or celestial influences implies the expulsion of the lower, bestial or demonic creatures which ordinarily inhabit the mind of man – the demons of desire and hatred… Each time we manifest desire or aversion, we are bringing to life, signing a pact with, one of the demons of ego.

The reason the true magus – in the vernacular – ‘consorts with demons’ is to expulse those inner forms of ego. Every instant, every day that one lives without having expulsed those demons is a day lived in a tacit pact with them…For these reasons, the popular image of the magician as one who ‘consorts with demons’ is at once ironic … and accurate…”

This passage struck a chord with me, not least because it was a topic I was discussing with a friend not too long ago. He said that anything in your life which controls you instead of you controlling it, is demonic and calls for some kind of exorcism. That in itself resonated as I feel that I am undergoing an exorcism of my past at the moment which is freeing me physically and mentally. I know a couple of people who have confided in me that they are scared of their own alcohol intake that it is potentially problematic and yet they do nothing to change the situation – this could be classed (according to the above definition) as a form of demonic possession. Compulsive eating is demonic as the sufferer of this condition is most definitely under the control of the disorder, not the other way around. The uniting thread seems to be compulsion, a forcing of our will away from the middle path, often away from what we know is good for us: a compulsion to self-harm through excessive food, excessive alcohol, dangerous relationships or >insert your chosen ‘sin’ here<. Although I know that some people may get their knickers in a twist about me suggesting even indirectly that their ‘weaknesses’ are demonic and they are in need of an exorcism, I hope that they can overcome the knee-jerk response (which may indeed be the inner demon recoiling at being uncovered!) and consider the concept. I find the idea of almost personalizing the compulsions within very interesting. We can often recognise the compulsion, the end-product as it were, but not know the origins which is why we throw ourselves into therapy or compulsive repetition of our errors – so easily one demon can become legion within us if we don’t deal with the original intruder; after all, once demon number one has settled into the comfort of an entrenched ego, why wouldn’t he send out a general invite to his mates?
Yes, I am being flippant, but the concept still holds and it is helping me compartmentalise a mess of feelings inside me. So once the demon is identified, the question is, what to do? I think that is a personal decision, and I would not give a generalised answer to that when someone may take it as law and run with the idea right over a cliff (metaphorically speaking … although isn’t that what Jesus did with the devil whose name was ‘Legion’?). I am still pondering the nature of my demons, and bizarrely the thought of them doesn’t scare me. Colin Wilson wrote a fantastically interesting novel called The Mind Parasites – creatures that have colonised the minds of all men [sic] and who control the fate of mankind by remaining hidden in the depths of the unconscious. After reading that book you never look at the dark, quiet corners of your own mind in the same way again! But where as these parasites frightened me, the concept of the demonic doesn’t. I am keen to know them, because once known, once I have their name, I will be able to oust them from my being and I find that a very positive thought; just as once I admitted that my illness was psychosomatic, rather than clasping a sweaty hand to my forehead and curling up in victim mode at the wasted years and torments of my own mind (!) I felt hugely rejuvenated and empowered. Real chronic physical ailments are sometimes manageable but never curable. By admitting the potential psychosomatic origins of my illness, I have unleashed a flood of energy and uncovered some dark corners with the light optimism: if it is in my mind, then I can conquer it and be well. If the compulsions are demonic, I can know them and expel them. Of this I have no doubt.

The other aspect to this concept is that ego and habit energy is the resting place and breeding ground for such demonic energies. So logically, a two-pronged attack both on ‘knowing your demons’ and on breaking down ego and habit energy would be the most successful. I feel that the last month when I was riding on an artificial high (as genuine as it felt at the time, it was un-real), I was actually surfacing the wave of my ego. It felt good, it felt great, if felt compulsively, addictively wonderful – like too much chocolate, too much coffee, too much sex. And ultimately it was ‘too much’ of everything, it took me away from the middle path and I lost myself in ‘feeling’. I brought a lot back from the journey – there are things I learned – but it showed me once again how deceptive the path of ego can be. We think we are being true to ourselves, when actually we are living a fantasy.

So there are a few essentials for me that come from the concept of the demonic: as Dion Fortune indicates in her book Psychic Self-Defence, the greatest protection is being very grounded in this life, being grounded enough to give a belly laugh at a good film. I am finding my Kundalini yoga supremely grounding; it is what broke the cycle of flying high-higher-highest and brought me gently back to earth. I am now incorporating a minimum of two meditation sessions a day, where I can tune back into myself and check how far I have strayed off the Beauty Path. And this new moon I shall be beginning some ritual work to face my demons. I have Sobek to my left and Anubis to my right, and I am more than ready to stare into the mouth of Apophis. May Osiris bless me and my path. It’s time to know the demons, and really know my Self.

© starofseshat 2008